why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
