butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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