apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
