Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
