chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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