wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
