haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
