So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
