honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
