his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
