I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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