Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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