susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
