i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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