Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
