you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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