So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
