and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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