How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
