There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
