I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
