Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
