I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The uberlube is also flammable
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
