I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize