somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
