No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
