I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
