I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
