Me too!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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