This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
