She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize