playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
