She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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