it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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