If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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