dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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