He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
