That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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