yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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