one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
