I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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