No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
