I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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