thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
