CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize