Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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