We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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