It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
