I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
