I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
