Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
