you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
