you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
