He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
