hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
