I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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