I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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