Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
