so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
