what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
