put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
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