WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
