he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
