i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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