how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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