is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
